Introduction
Welcome to the Springs of Life Blog!
I must admit, I've tried starting a blog multiple times, and each time, I would come up with a list of ideas and put up a couple of posts, but I would never follow through and keep it up. I think my issue was not knowing how I wanted to keep track of my thoughts, share them with others, or even how I could make an impact. After all, I'm just me. I'm not a writer, I'm a reader. I'm young, but I've finally begun to mature in my faith. That's when I realized: what I really wanted was to share with others my personal struggle with God. I've thought long and hard about how I wanted to reach people, how I wanted to speak about my own experiences, and right now, I've reached a point in my life where I need to re-assess everything. And I mean everything.
I used to think that I would be a famous artist one day. I wanted everyone to see my work and be so incredibly moved by it that they would go out and change the world. I wanted to make the world think differently. I became interested in making movies four years ago, and at last, I directed my first, very own feature-length film this year. But in doing so, I struggled a lot with my identity. And by identity, I mean my self-worth. Why was I really doing the things that I was doing? What did it mean to me? What was it worth? Why did everyone around me seem so empty inside? Why was I so empty inside? God moved my heart and diverted my path. The things I used to do are no longer relevant, because God has shown me a different way (Proverbs 16:9).
I have another important detail to share before we get into it:
I grew up afraid of admitting to others that I was Christian.
Of course, Christianity is the world's most dominant religion, and I would never claim that my fears of "persecution" amount to anything near those of other faiths, particularly Muslim and Jewish believers, but throughout my life, it was that internalized fear of social isolation that prompted me to live and think as a secular individual, so that no one could label me as "weird," "delusional," "crazy," or downright ignorant. Friends of mine who knew I was Christian feared that I would judge them as well, and that was a pressure that I detested. I was painfully aware of all the damage that the institution of the capital C, church has done throughout history and how people all around me spoke out against it. It took me years to realize that Christianity is true, God's love is true, and false teachings are false. Sin is inevitable. We judge religion by the world's standards, by people's shortcomings, and by evil thoughts and actions, but how many of us have actually accepted the challenge of picking up a Bible, reading it, meditating on it, and learning God's true message?
Now, although I did have a Christian community growing up (I was even a "PK," or a pastor's kid), there were many issues with our church that I may nor may not address in this blog. I want to be open about my faith and how I got here, and how God graciously intervened in my life. I've never tried to share this much before, so I'm terrified. I don't have an incredible story about being converted and coming face to face with Jesus, meeting Him in a flash of light or enduring unimaginable hardships, but I do have a story about how I was led back to Him, and how you might too.
If you're here because you don't really know God but you're interested in knowing more about Him, I wish I could reach through your computer screen and give you a hug because I know how crazy it feels to accept that there might be more to life than what we are used to. I've gone through so many moments of "I don't need God," or "my life is fine as it is." I've totally been there. Chances are, if you know me personally, I have probably prayed for you and will continue to do so. It's okay if you're not inclined to believe. I'm a believer and it's STILL very hard for me to believe. But I know God has placed you in my life for a reason, and I want you to know that you are invaluable. If you do not know me personally, please feel free to reach out, I'd love to chat or pray for you!
One last thing: if you're wondering about the name of this blog, here is the Scripture that inspired it!
Proverbs 4:23
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.
Best blessings to you!
CM
I must admit, I've tried starting a blog multiple times, and each time, I would come up with a list of ideas and put up a couple of posts, but I would never follow through and keep it up. I think my issue was not knowing how I wanted to keep track of my thoughts, share them with others, or even how I could make an impact. After all, I'm just me. I'm not a writer, I'm a reader. I'm young, but I've finally begun to mature in my faith. That's when I realized: what I really wanted was to share with others my personal struggle with God. I've thought long and hard about how I wanted to reach people, how I wanted to speak about my own experiences, and right now, I've reached a point in my life where I need to re-assess everything. And I mean everything.
I used to think that I would be a famous artist one day. I wanted everyone to see my work and be so incredibly moved by it that they would go out and change the world. I wanted to make the world think differently. I became interested in making movies four years ago, and at last, I directed my first, very own feature-length film this year. But in doing so, I struggled a lot with my identity. And by identity, I mean my self-worth. Why was I really doing the things that I was doing? What did it mean to me? What was it worth? Why did everyone around me seem so empty inside? Why was I so empty inside? God moved my heart and diverted my path. The things I used to do are no longer relevant, because God has shown me a different way (Proverbs 16:9).
I have another important detail to share before we get into it:
I grew up afraid of admitting to others that I was Christian.
Of course, Christianity is the world's most dominant religion, and I would never claim that my fears of "persecution" amount to anything near those of other faiths, particularly Muslim and Jewish believers, but throughout my life, it was that internalized fear of social isolation that prompted me to live and think as a secular individual, so that no one could label me as "weird," "delusional," "crazy," or downright ignorant. Friends of mine who knew I was Christian feared that I would judge them as well, and that was a pressure that I detested. I was painfully aware of all the damage that the institution of the capital C, church has done throughout history and how people all around me spoke out against it. It took me years to realize that Christianity is true, God's love is true, and false teachings are false. Sin is inevitable. We judge religion by the world's standards, by people's shortcomings, and by evil thoughts and actions, but how many of us have actually accepted the challenge of picking up a Bible, reading it, meditating on it, and learning God's true message?
Now, although I did have a Christian community growing up (I was even a "PK," or a pastor's kid), there were many issues with our church that I may nor may not address in this blog. I want to be open about my faith and how I got here, and how God graciously intervened in my life. I've never tried to share this much before, so I'm terrified. I don't have an incredible story about being converted and coming face to face with Jesus, meeting Him in a flash of light or enduring unimaginable hardships, but I do have a story about how I was led back to Him, and how you might too.
If you're here because you don't really know God but you're interested in knowing more about Him, I wish I could reach through your computer screen and give you a hug because I know how crazy it feels to accept that there might be more to life than what we are used to. I've gone through so many moments of "I don't need God," or "my life is fine as it is." I've totally been there. Chances are, if you know me personally, I have probably prayed for you and will continue to do so. It's okay if you're not inclined to believe. I'm a believer and it's STILL very hard for me to believe. But I know God has placed you in my life for a reason, and I want you to know that you are invaluable. If you do not know me personally, please feel free to reach out, I'd love to chat or pray for you!
One last thing: if you're wondering about the name of this blog, here is the Scripture that inspired it!
Proverbs 4:23
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.
Best blessings to you!
CM
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